


No Cameras Catch (My Pageant Smile)

by lila (lilahawk)



Series: It's you and me, that's my whole world [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Blow Jobs, F/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:28:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23150197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilahawk/pseuds/lila
Summary: She still remembers how tight he held her every night or how he desperately kissed her because he knew she wouldn’t stay or when he looked at her when he thought that she wasn’t paying attention.James Hopper loved her once and she loved him too.
Relationships: Joyce Byers/Jim "Chief" Hopper
Series: It's you and me, that's my whole world [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664149
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	No Cameras Catch (My Pageant Smile)

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah another famous au ik y'all are getting tired of those I'm sorry.
> 
> This is for Sam, happy birthday sweetie I hope you enjoy this.
> 
> Also, English is not my first language so if there's any mistakes please ignore

  
Hawkins were indeed a small town, Joyce couldn’t barely remember. She left such a long time ago in search for her own freedom that she forgot how her hometown even looked like.

She definitely find it for a while. Her freedom. But the more the time passed the more it looked like she just fooled herself.

When Joyce felt that everything was falling apart in Hollywood, even though she was winning awards an being contacted to make more movies than ever, she took a plane without telling anyone and showed up on her mother doorstep in the middle of night crying and even though Elise Ann Horowitz was not an easy person she could see how miserable her daughter was.

“You can stay as long as you want.”

The morning after, her phone was blowing up with calls and texts. Joyce turned off the phone and bought another.

It took her day to leave her mother’s house but when she did it was when she saw him for the first time.

He was across the street walking holding hands with a young girl – probably his daughter – and he was handsome as when he was the day she left. 

His broad shoulders and arms made Joyce just stand still like an idiot. It wasn’t until he looked at her straight in the eyes that she basically ran back to her mother’s house like a stupid teenager.

She still remembers the last days they had together before she left. They stayed with friends on a beach house on another city close to Hawkins for a week.

She still remembers how tight he held her every night or how he desperately kissed her because he knew she wouldn’t stay or when he looked at her when he thought that she wasn’t paying attention.

James Hopper loved her once and she loved him too.

How could she not? Letting go of him was one of the hardest things she has ever done and one of the few things she regretted ever doing it.

It started slow. Even though it wasn’t supposed to start at all.

It began when they started to see each other everywhere. At the library, the grocery store, on the street or simply looking at the window because apparently he lived across the street from her mother’s house now with his teenager daughter Jane who was someone that Joyce’s mom liked very much.

“You and your father should come to dinner tonight, we haven’t talked in a while” Elise told Jane one afternoon.

Joyce couldn’t imagine why her mother was still close to her high school boyfriend after what? 29 or 30 years?

“Hopper is a nice man, and after what happened to his wife? The man deserves at least have some friends. I am merely a woman who’s invited her friend and his daughter to dinner. You should meet Jane, she’s a fine young lady. Now please go to the grocery store because we have no food in this house.”

And so she did and of course she had to stumble on him on the middle of the grocery shop and as if that wasn’t enough embarrassment she just stuttered every single word out of her mouth just because he was looking so deeply into her face.

She didn’t let him apologize or help in any way, she just picked her stuff and went to the cashier and left store while he was still frozen on the same place.

Hours later her heart was still racing and still felt like it was going to jump through her chest at any moment.

It’s been almost 30 years and he still made her feel like this and that wasn’t a good sign. It took her years to move on from him.

Or well, she thought so.

She almost cried when she heard a knock on the front door and her mother rushed over to open it

“Hey, Elise" God he still called her mom by her first name. “we brought pecan pie for dessert.”

“You didn’t have to bring anything.”

The talk was light between her mother, Hopper and Jane who would throw curious glances at Joyce every minute.

Dinner went smoothly. Her mother always maintaining the conversation polished and polite while Joyce kept her head down looking at her plate and occasionally looking at her mom.

They talked about the weather, gossiped about some of the neighbors and he talked about his wife, how he missed her and how hard it was to raise a kid by himself.

“… How are you doing in Hollywood, Joyce?”

He asked and she held her breath for several seconds while her mother, Hopper and Jane stared at her. 

“Fine. I’m just gonna… Excuse me.” She managed to say and left the room going upstairs.

She was a fucking coward.

Closing the door of her childhood bedroom taking deep breaths. She felt like she was going to have a breakdown at any moment. This wasn’t fair. He didn’t get to come and throw his almost perfect fucking…

“Joyce?” She snapped out of her thoughts when his voice echoed through the door. “I’m coming in.”

She didn’t move, she barely breathe while he slipped into her room and sit on her bed.

“What is going on?” he whispered and smiled.

“Why are you doing this?” She quickly replied. “What are you here? Why are you torturing me?”

He seemed genuinely confused.

“What?”

“I got it, okay? I’m sorry I left you and all of that crap but you don’t get to come here when I am in the rock bottom to just throw your happy and sad story in my face.” She didn’t screamed at him because deep down she knew that she was just being paranoid.

“I am not.”

“You’re _not_?”

“No, Joyce. Yes, you did broke my heart when you left but I didn’t mean to seem like a was throwing anything at you face. Your mom and I are close because we don’t have family and we are neighbors. That’s all"

“You’re such an asshole.”

And suddenly they were throwing insults at each other for several minutes. They were always like this, going from 0 to 500 in seconds.

They didn’t even notice when the kissing started, but then his pants were on his ankles and she was sucking the life out of him.

“We gotta – oh my god – stop… Your mom and Jane are – _Jesus Christ_ – downstairs.”

She squeezed him hard with both of her hands and the little pop she did when her mouth came off his cock was something out of this world .

“Do not talk about my mother your daughter when my mouth this down on your body, Jim.”

He was holding his breath so hard that he thought that he was going to pass out right there. 

It’s not like they haven’t done this before. They did, more often that not actually. They would come to her house after school and her mother would be at work, and she would get down on her knees with her little plaid skirt and suck him stupid.

He was crazy about her back then, he would go to the end of the world if it meant to be with her. Clearly she wouldn’t di the same for him since she left.

He swallowed hard he didn’t knew if it was because he was about to burst in her mouth or his eyes would burst with tears.

He held her hair while his hips jerked and he fell back against the mattress and he came as silently as he could.

It took him about five minutes to regain control over his breathing and his body finally cooled off and he sat trying to understand what just happened and how he was feeling.

Joyce was nowhere to be seen.

  
  
She didn’t leave her mom’s house for a whole week, too embarrassed to even look at his face. 

“You’re having this weird face since last week, what you two talked about that made you like this?” Her mom asked one day and Joyce didn’t knew how to even begin.

If only she knew _what_ had happened.

Joyce leaned on Elise’s shoulder and cried. She was pathetic, all these years and genuinely thought that she was over James Hopper.

She remembered the time when they were young and stupid, they planned their whole life together. How he would go with her everywhere she need to be to archive her dream, but deep down Joyce always knew that that wasn’t gonna happen, that he would never leave this town, he loved it too much.

She hated.

She didn’t dare to think about him too much when she finally moved to California. It was hard at first, and then harder and at some point along the way she just forgot how it felt to missing. Until one day she woke up and didn’t hurt as much as it used to, it felt like everything was finally in place for her, like she deserved that.

Seeing him now it was just painful. She didn’t exactly knew why but every time she would lay eyes on him her heart ached, both her hand shake and her eyes would be filled with tears.

It wasn’t fair or easy, but she didn’t had much things that came easily into her life. Not the career she fought so much for and got it, not the characters she wanted to play or anything else in general. She was just in a constant fight to get what she wants or deserves.

And she was just too tired now, she didn’t wanted to fight as much as she used to anymore.

This was not how things were supposed to be. If she stayed in Hawkins back then, she would be a nurse by now, she would have two or three children with him if they were lucky and a house down the street and she probably would be just happy and not miserable like she is now.

She heard her phone ring again at the table and she took a deep breath when she saw who was it.

“I gotta take this.” She said and her mother nodded and left the room.

“ _are you kidding me_?” her agent said as soon as she picked up.

“Jess, I’m so sorry. I… I just needed some time.”

“ _I’m not mad about that, Joyce. But you could have told me so I could made up some cover up story so we could control the narrative but now TMZ has find out where you are and I don’t doubt that there’s a plane full of paparazzis on their way to Hawkins_.”

Her heart stopped.

“That’s… that’s…”

“ _Very bad, I know. Now, please tell that there’s something happening on your town or somebody’s birthday or any kind of event in the next few days. Think fast_.” Her manager said.

“ I mean my mom’s birthday is in four months and she still lives in Hawkins. My high school reunion is in four or five days…”

“ _Wait that’s good. We can tell the press that you are there because of your high school reunion and decide spend time with your mom_.”

“Yeah, okay"

“ _If you need anything, anything at all… Please, give me a call and I’ll fix it for you_.”

“Thank you. Bye, Jess.”

The doorbell rang as soon as she ended the call and she moved around the living room until she reached for the door.

“Joyce, can we talk? Please?” Jim's voice echoed through the closed door and she closed her eyes.

“We really shouldn’t, my mother is here and I don’t want to drag her into whatever _this_ is.”

“Well… You didn’t think that last time.”

She never opened a door so fast in her entire life.

“Don’t do this. Don’t try to make me feel guilty about actions that we both consented.”

“I am not. What I’m trying to do is making you open the door so we an talk about what and why it happened and what does this mean…”

“it means nothing.” She interrupted him. “I came here because I needed a break from all the pressure not to add more to it. We don’t mean anything to each other, we can’t. I can’t do this, I can’t have my heart broken because I have to leave again, I won’t survive it. You moved on, you build a beautiful family but I wasn’t strong enough to do that because I was miserable there and alone and I didn’t wanted to do that if it wasn’t with you But now I get it that I just didn’t needed you and it took me a long time to realize that but now I know that it’s okay that it doesn’t make me less of a woman for it. I apologize for breaking your heart back then but we can’t mean anything to each other anymore because feel as guilty as I did last time, I am not making myself going through all of that again.”

And the door was closed with a bang and she locked. She didn’t even notice that she was holding her breath until she was able to move again. She heard him leaving and almost had a breakdown if she didn’t heard her mother on the stairs.

“You should give him the chance to talk.”

“Mom, please, not now. I can’t do this now"

“Okay” 

As the day would pass by she would grew more and more anxious at a point she was taken to the hospital because of a panic attack when she noticed that there was several paparazzis hidden around her house taking pictures of her and her mom. Her PR team was not happy with them when they heard the news.

“are you sure you are okay?”

“Yes, mom. I’m fine now.”

Her mom completely freaked out and called an ambulance because of course that would be the smartest move to do when you have an unknown number of paparazzis outside of your house. 

She wasn’t mad with her mom, she didn’t knew how to handle things when it came to Hollywood.

“You are taking IV fluids intravenously, how long has this been going on? Why didn’t you tell me before?”

Joyce took a deep breath and stared at her mom.

“It happened several time over the last ten years, for a while everything was in control, I was seeing my four hundred something therapist but the last few months I was more in the hospital taking IV fluids than not and. When you are in a type of career such as mine having mental illness it is common. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you anything I didn’t wanted to worry you with this.”

“You are my daughter.” Elise said holding Joyce’s hand. “I will _always_ worry.”

A knock interrupted both of them and Jane came in with a bouquet of flowers and a smile.

“For you" She said and Elise took the flowers from her hand and putting it on her bedside table. “dad’s outside”

_Oh_

“I’ll send him in.”

Her mom said leaving the room before Joyce could do anything and Jane followed right after.

He stood at the doorway staring at her probably waiting for some type of invitation to get into the room.

“You can come in, Hop. I will try not to bite you.” She smiled and he approached, sitting on the chair close to the bed. “you are here.”

“I am. Your mother called me as soon as you arrived here and I came as soon as I could.”

Joyce nodded her head and extended her hand to him and he held it with both of his.

“I am sorry I said those hurtful things. You are not an asshole, you are a great father. I was the one who left, I was the one who broke and thought about myself along the way. And I am so, so sorry.”

“it’s okay. I moved on, it’s okay that you still feel hurt, it means that you can move on when you’re ready, you just haven’t been ready to do it yet.”

Their faces were centimeters apart from each other now, she didn’t even realized when they got closer.

“We can’t do this" she whispered.

His hands found their way to her waist and she held her breath.

“Why? Why can’t we do this?” he whispered back look at her lips.

“I don’t think I won’t be able to stop"

So he kissed her and it felt like their first time doing it, like fireworks in her belly and his rough hands on her hair and she was so out of breath but she didn’t wanted to stop just yet. After all this time she still loved him as much as she did back then.

“do you want to go to our high school reunion with me?”

He asked softly and she smile when he gently put her hair behind her ear.

“I wouldn’t want to go with anyone else"

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Twitter: @julietsavvyer


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